Sunday meal prep is a lifestyle brand, not a realistic solution for my brain. Pixel doesn't care about meal prep either — she just wants the rotisserie chicken. I tried it six times. Each time, I spent four hours cooking on Sunday afternoon — chopping vegetables, cooking grains, portioning chicken into identical Tupperware containers. I filled my fridge with what looked like a meal prep influencer’s Instagram post. By Tuesday, I was bored out of my mind. By Thursday, I was ordering Torchy’s and feeling guilty. By Saturday, I was throwing away sad, slimy vegetables and half-eaten chicken that had been in the fridge too long.
The data was clear from my tracking: I need variety (can’t eat the same thing more than twice in a row) and low friction (no more than 15 minutes of active cooking per meal). Batch cooking fails on both — it reduces variety by design, and it requires a big time commitment upfront that my ADHD-adjacent brain resents. So I built a stupid simple algorithm. Not AI. Not machine learning. Not even a real app. Just a set of rules in a Google Sheet that spits out a weekly grocery list and meal plan based on three inputs: my calorie target, my macro preferences (high protein, moderate carb), and my tolerance for cooking (scale of 0 to 3, where 0 = microwave only and 3 = willing to use an oven and a cutting board).
Here’s the logic (you can steal it — I’ve put a template on bmitool.org):
Inputs I set once (for me):- Target calories: 2,450/day (maintenance at 170 lbs, moderate activity)
- Protein target: 130g/day (about 1.7g per kg of body weight)
- Cooking tolerance: 2 (can chop vegetables, use one pan, use oven — but no sous vide, no food processor, no multi-hour marinades)
- No more than 2 days of the same protein in a row (prevents boredom)
- At least one “lazy meal” (H-E-B pre-made) per day (reduces friction)
- Breakfast must take <5 minutes (overnight oats, Greek yogurt, protein shake)
- At least 3 different vegetable colors per day (based on a 2019 *Nutrients* paper linking dietary color variety to micronutrient adequacy)
- No meal requiring more than 4 ingredients (excluding salt, pepper, oil)
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| Day | Breakfast | Lunch | Dinner | Protein (g) | Calories | Prep time (min) |
|--|--|-|--|-|-|--|
| Mon | Greek yogurt (170g) + berries (100g) | Turkey wrap (H-E-B tortilla, deli turkey, spinach, mustard) | H-E-B rotisserie chicken + steamed broccoli (frozen, microwave) | 128 | 2,410 | 5 + 0 + 5 |
| Tue | Protein shake (whey, water, ice) + banana | Leftover chicken + broccoli | Ground turkey tacos (H-E-B tortillas, turkey, salsa, avocado) | 135 | 2,490 | 2 + 0 + 12 |
| Wed | Overnight oats (prepped night before — oats, milk, protein powder, peanut butter) | H-E-B tuna salad kit (crackers not included, eat with cucumber slices) | Salmon (frozen filet from H-E-B, 10 min in air fryer) + asparagus (pan) | 131 | 2,380 | 0 + 2 + 15 |
| Thu | Scrambled eggs (2) + whole wheat toast + avocado | Leftover salmon + asparagus | H‑E‑B Meal Simple meatloaf (just microwave) + green beans (frozen, steam bag) | 126 | 2,450 | 5 + 0 + 8 |
| Fri | Greek yogurt + granola (the H-E-B store brand, less sugar) | Turkey wrap (same as Monday, different hot sauce) | Frozen burger patty (air fryer) + pre-made salad kit (use half dressing) | 140 | 2,520 | 3 + 0 + 10 |
| Sat | Protein shake + banana | H-E-B sushi (spicy tuna roll) | Takeout (planned — Torchy’s, 2 tacos: Trailer Park and Democrat) | 115 | 2,600 | 2 + 0 + 15 (drive time) |
| Sun | Leftover eggs (from Thursday) | Leftover burger + salad | Chicken breast (air fryer, 12 min) + sweet potato (microwave baked) | 133 | 2,440 | 5 + 0 + 15 |
The algorithm doesn’t produce gourmet meals. It produces *good enough* meals that I will actually eat without ordering delivery. The key is the variety rule — no same-protein-two-days-in-a-row forced me to buy 4-5 different protein sources each week (chicken, turkey, fish, beef, eggs, protein powder). That prevents the meal-prep boredom spiral. The lazy-meal rule (at least one H-E-B pre-made per day) acknowledges reality: some days I don’t want to cook at all. Instead of ordering $25 of Torchy’s, I spend $6 on a Meal Simple tray and call it dinner.
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Did it work? I’ve been running this system for 8 weeks now. My adherence (percent of days within 200 calories of my 2,450 target) went from 52% (during the meal prep era) to 81% (algorithm era). My protein intake average went from 98g to 127g — almost hitting my 130g target. My body fat (Navy method, measured every Monday) dropped from 18.9% to 17.2% while my weight stayed within 1 lb of 170. That’s recomposition — gaining muscle, losing fat, stable scale weight. My BMI went from 26.9 to 26.5 — a small change, but the body fat difference is meaningful.
The algorithm is just a spreadsheet with conditional formatting and a few lookup tables. You don’t need an app. Write down 10 meals you actually like (not “should” like — actually like, including the Torchy’s run). Categorize them by protein source and prep time. Then randomize with a constraint: no repeat protein within 48 hours. That’s it. That’s the algorithm. I run it on Sunday morning, it generates a shopping list, I go to H-E-B for 20 minutes, and I’m done. No more four-hour meal prep marathons. No more wasted vegetables. No more Thursday night guilt.
Meal prep culture made me feel like a failure. Turns out I just needed a different system — one designed for a human with a short attention span, a healthy respect for leftovers (but only for exactly one day), and a deep appreciation for H-E-B’s rotisserie chicken. If you want my Google Sheet template, it’s on the blog. No email required. I hate that stuff too.
— Jamie
